Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It was worth it
[300 words, ~1 page]

The wind was pretty stiff, so Neil proposed pulling out the jib alone and sailing a bit, just to take the opportunity. I didn't have the jib fairleads in, but he ran the jib sheets all the way back to the spinnaker blocks and made it work. (Translation: the right hardware wasn't there, but he found something to make do with.)

With my foot on the tiller (since my hands aren't too reliable) I steered dead into the wind while the guys set up. Then I veered to starboard (the right-hand side) while Stewart -- all 77 pounds of him -- hauled out the jib. Neil prompted me through a couple of course corrections until we were sailing a sweet and effortless downhill run, the jib flying out like an angel. No really, it was. A slightly tatty angel, an angel that had seen better days perhaps, but then so have we all. (Except maybe Stewart.)

I turned off the motor, and that first silence as the wind takes over the boat is my favorite moment in life. Everything is so pure. The floating, flying motion, the shimmering silver water, the perfect sense of one-ness.

This time it was different. Looking behind me and seeing the shape of my hull's motion. Looking in front of me and seeing my home. Looking ahead and seeing nothing my gods didn't put there.

There's a Pratchett quote I've always had a little trouble with, because it's so very hyperbolical but it's also very pretty, and finally it came true: "Against one perfect moment, the centuries beat in vain."

I thought of the years, the struggles, the waxing pain and waning money, all that hopelessness and helplessness and fear, and held them against this moment. I grinned fiercely, but said calmly, "It was worth it." It was some moments later that I realized that tears were pouring down my face in a couple of unruly little waterfalls.

It was worth it.

1 comment:

Laura Serena said...

Those are the moments life is worth living for. I'm so glad, sweetie!